PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
