I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
