i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
