So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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