my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
