You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
