My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
