38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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