I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
ok first of all what the fuck
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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