i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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