I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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