i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
