dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
