Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
