Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize