every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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