she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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