Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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