that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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