She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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