I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
