Cold hands, warm shart.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
