Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
