My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
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walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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