He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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