Green mimosas i think yes
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize