She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
