I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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