so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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