I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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