she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
