Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
