Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
