I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
