so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
