Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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