I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
