My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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