I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
