Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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