Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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