My brain says no but my pants say off.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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