Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
