i don't like sucking hair
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
