Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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