I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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