youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
