I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
