Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
