Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We talked him into tasing himself.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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