i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
