Whod you bang
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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