i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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