I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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