So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
