i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
